The Most Random Story In The World
by kenzieee4
Summary: Full of crack. Absolutely crack-tastic. Just warning you. Included: Soul Eater, Bleach, Naruto, Death Note, and a few other animes! Read at your own risk!
1. Inuyasha VS Kira

**Author's Note: This is so random :D! No hating please. This is a weird crossover of Death Note and InuYasha. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this. :D! **

InuYasha was leaning against a tree when suddenly, his half brother Sessharamu appeared.  
>"The mighty Sessharamu has returned!"<br>Inuyasha rolled his eyes. _What a stuck up bastard..._

Then for no apparent reason Light Yagami(Imagay) appeared. He grinned evily at the half-brothers. Kagome randomly walked up. Then, L popped next to Light.  
>"Don't tell Imagay your name or he will keel YOU!" he exclaimed.<br>"Don't worry Kagome! I'll never tell that guy with Justin Beiber hair your name!" Inuyasha declared. Kagome facepalmed. "You just did you dumb ass."  
>"Ooooopss..."<br>Light pulled out his pen and his Death Note and furiously scribbled _Ka...go...me..._ in it. Forty seconds later, Kagome clutched her chest then declared,"INUYASHA! I HATE YOU! SIT!"  
>Inuyasha had his face planted into the ground for the last time. Light started cackling. "Haha! Now I can kill you! Your name is Inuyasha~" He began writing Inuyasha's name in the Death Note, but Naraku fell on top of him before he could finish writing.<br>"Your favorite friend is here to take the sacred jewel shard away!" he exclaimed. Then he looked down and saw Imagay beneath him. L started laughing his ass off, and Inuyasha facepalmed. Sessharamu remained emotionless as usual.  
>"Get of of me~! I am GOD! I AM KIRA!" Light shouted angrily to Naraku.<br>"I'll take that...as a CONFESSION~!" L laughed.  
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He found out I'm Kira! Wait...Hey L...eat this cookie okay?" Imagay handed L a cookie. L took it and began bringing it to his mouth...<br>"No L! Don't eat the cookie!" Inuyasha exclaimed a second too late. L ate the cookie then died because the cookie was poisoned.  
>"And this time, stay dead L. DAMNIT! STAY DEAD!" Light yelled. Then, Near, Mello, and Matt appeared.<br>"My name is MELLO~! FEAR MEEH!" Mello proclaimed. Matt looked at him then exclaimed "MARSHMELLOW~!"  
>Mello looked like he was ready to breathe fire. "I HATE MARSHMELLOWS! NEVER SAY THAT IN MY PRESENCE AGAIN!"<br>Near sighed. "We're supposed to save these people from Kira, not piss Mello off by saying Marshmellow..."  
>"WHAT DID YOU SAY SHEEP? NO WAIT...I'M GOING TO CALL YOU MARSH MELLOW FROM NOW ON BECAUSE I HATE MARSHMELLOWS AND I HATE YOU!" Mello said, now cracking up.<br>Naraku got off of Light and said, "So...we're not supposed to tell this guy our name? He's so lame...if we use fake names...he can't kill us."  
>"The Mighty Sessharamu agrees. The mighty Sessharamu will never tell this stupid human the Mighty Sessharamu's name."<br>Naraku and Inuyasha face palmed. "You just did."  
>"The Mighty Sessharamu did no such thing! Naraku, Inuyasha, stop laughing, or The Mighty Sessharamu will be forced to use...DUCT TAPE!"<br>"YOU DUMBASS! YOU JUST TOLD THAT IMAGAY GUY ALL OF OUR NAMES IN ONE GOD DAMNED SENTENCE!" Naraku yelled.  
>"The Mighty Sessharamu did no such thing!"<p>

Light watched as the two other groups bickered amongst themselves. He was beggining to get angry. They were all ignoring him...and his absolutely 'gorgeous'(hideous) hair. "HEY DUMBASSES!"

Everyone turned to face Kira. "You guys all have UGLY hair compared to mine!" He bragged.

Mello turned towards Imagay angrily, his eyes glowing red, and steam coming out of his ears. "HOW...DARE...YOU...INSULT...MY...HAIR!#$#!%$!^%^" he screamed, and he began viciously tearing Light's hair out in chunks. Light began crying histerically, "MY HAIR~~~! NOOOOO!"

"The Mighty Sessharamu is entertained by the humans."  
>Matt looked at him funny while lighting a cigarette. "That's...nice?"<p>

When Mello was finished with Light, he was completely bald, and he had a bloody nose. "Insult my hair again, I dare you."  
>"Alright Mello. Your hair makes you look like a damn lady. And it looks like you pulled it out of your ass." Light said stupidly.<p>

Mello began stabbing Light viciously, while everyone else just stared. "I should of known Kira would come to a violent end." Near stated blankly. Matt stared at him.

"Where did he even get a knife?" Inuyasha asked.  
>"No idea..." Naraku answered.<p>

Near began making a house of cards. Mello continued stabbing Light with the knife that appeared out of nowhere. When Light was completely dead, Mello noticed the cards. He walked up then kicked them down.

"What the hell was the point of that?" Naraku questioned.  
>"I don't know..." Inuyasha answered.<br>"The Mighty Sessharamu does not understand humans." Sessharmu thought out loud.

**THE END :D!**


	2. Bloody Kukuku

**Author's Note: WOOHOO! The weirdo parade continues.**

*In Naraku's Castle*

"MWUHAHAHAHA! I will take your sacred jewel shards Inuyasha! And to lure your brother Sesshomaru here, I kidnapped Rin! Kukuku..." Naraku yelled triumphantly. Inuyasha looked at him like he was on drugs.

"Whats with the bloody 'kukuku...'? Bloody Weirdo..."

"How Dare you! Kukuku..." Naraku screeched. That's when Sesshomaru came in.

"The Mighty Sesshomaru heard everything! Where did you hide Rin!" He demanded.

"Wouldn't you like to know. Kukuku..." Naraku laughed.

"Yes, the Might Sesshomaru would indeed like to know." Sesshomaru said, not understanding Naraku's sarcasm. Then Koga jumped in.

"Wow...the mutt's brother is even dumber than the mutt!" He exclaimed.

"I agree...Kukuku..." Naraku said, face palming.

"Did you just insult the Mighty Sesshomaru?"

"Yes. Kukuku..."

"How dare you insult the Mighty Sesshomaru!" He drew his sword and did whatever the hell he does with it and killed Naraku in one sweep.

"What. The. Bloody. Hell!#!#%!" Inuyasha screamed. "I've been trying to do that for five bloody years and you killed him with one bloody shot?"

"No! Kukuku! I am not dead! Now Inuyasha, your friends will die!~#! Kukuku..."

Inuyasha looked dumbfounded along with Sesshomaru and Koga.

"Don't mind me, I'm not the mutt's friend." Koga said, and he walked away from the castle.

"Nor is the Mighty Sesshomaru," Sesshomaru said, but he stayed because he wanted to kill Naraku. Then Koga came back with Kagome. Narkau headed towards Kagome, ready to kill her.

"INUYASHA! HELP MEE!" She squealed. Then Inuyasha walked up to Koga and leaned up against him.

"Sorry Kagome. Bros before Hoes." he said. (Koga and Inuyasha, new best buddies?) Naraku killed Kagome and laughed at Inuyasha's stupidity. Then Kikyo walked up.

"Oh Naraku, I love you!" she cried. Naraku began laughing.

"I don't care! Die Kikyo! Kukuku..." He yelled. Kikyo died. Then Sango and Miroku walked inside the castle.

"Sango-chan, you amaze me yet again." Miroku laughed.

"What?" Sango asked.

"I don't really know." Miroku replied. Sango face-palmed and slapped him. Then Naraku noticed them.

"So the monk and the slayer finally arrive. Kukuku..."

"So, Naraku strikes again. I don't understand your strategy Naraku. Is it your intention to piss everyone off so that you have so many enemies that they decide to team up and kill you once and for all? I mean, first you piss Inuyasha off by turning Kikyo against him, then you piss Kagome off by just...being you, then you piss me off by putting a wind-tunnel in my hand, then you piss Sango off by killing her entire family and slaving her brother Kohaku, then you piss Sesshomaru off by first giving him an arm that nearly kills him and second kidnapping Rin, then you piss Koga off by killing all his comrades. You're a frickin rocket scientist Naraku..." Miroku pointed out. Naraku stopped his advance on him and Sango.

"Did I really do all of that? Kukuku..." he asked.

"Bloody yes! You did all those bloody things!" Inuyasha yelled, taking advantage of Naraku and struck him with the Back lash wave. Then Kanna appeared, talking on a cell phone. The room went silent except for her talking.

"So then I was like, if you wanna be up in everyone's buisness like some damn stalker, get your own damn mirror. Then he was like, well Maybe I will. Oh wait, hold on, getting another call. Oh hey Kohaku! What's up dawg!" Kanna said. Then Rin walked in. All of a sudden, Sesshomaru had a rose.

"The beauty of this rose pales in comparison to your radience...my love." he said.

"Oh Sesshomaru-sama~! Your so dashing~~~!" Rin said.

Inuyasha and Koga began making retching sounds.

"Ewww...Sesshomaru, that's sooo cheesy!" they said at the same time. Sesshomaru turned to them, his eyes red and his demon marking all...well, you know.

"How dare you say that about the Mighty Sesshomaru! You ruined a totally romantic moment!" he screamed at them.

"Says the guy with make-up on. Kukuku..."

"Weren't you...dead or something?" Sango asked. Naraku went back to being dead. Sesshomaru began chasing Koga and Inuyasha around the room, making death threats. Rin was following him giggling, and Kanna continued to talk loudly on her cell phone. Sango started repeatedly slapping Miroku, for no real reason.

THE END :D!


	3. Narakualina

**Author's Note: And yet again, I feel the urge to write weirdness and...RANDOMNESS. Weirdo Parade continues, once again :D. Considering renaming story Weirdo Parade, whaddaya think?**

*In A random Field*

"What the bloody 'ell Koga! You're my bloody best friend right?"

"Of course Inuyasha! Except when it comes to..."

"Comes to bloody what?"

"KAGOME~!"

"What about bloody Kagome?"

"She's my woman."

"That's nice. And Kikyo's my bloody fatherdad."

Koga looked at Inuyasha as if to say, "WHAT THE HELL?" Then Kikyo walked up.

"That's right! Come give your daddy a big hug!" then Kikyo glomped him. Inuyasha looked horrified.

"Bloody what? You can't be my bloody father, otherwise I'd be a bloody human." Then Inuyasha's hair became black, and his claws and fangs were gone. "What the bloody 'ell?"

"That's right! Your a human now that you know that I am your father. Now, time for you to die!" then, Kikyo turned into Naraku.

"WHAT?" Koga exclaimed.

"That's right kukuku...I am Naraku...kukuku...And I will take your jewel shards away Koga! Kukuku..." Naraku exclaimed.

"Hey Naraku! Your A Muckle Flugga!" Koga yelled at him. Naraku began approaching him ominously. All of a sudden he had pink lipstick on and a pink bow in his hair.

"I love you Koga! Kukuku..."

Koga proceeded to scream like a little girl and run away, leaving Naraku and Inuyasha dumbfounded.

"What...the bloody 'ell."

"I don't know! Kukuku..." Naraku said, his voice now a girls voice.

"How the bloody 'ell did you turn into a bloody woman? I mean...what the bloody 'ell?" Inuyasha asked, once again a half demon.

"The author did not want to make any gayness in her story, so she made me a girl! Kukuku..." Naraku explained.

"What the bloody 'ell! Now your even bloody scarier. What the bloody 'ell are you doing?" Inuyasha yelled as the now female Naraku began approaching him.

"Call me...Narakualina! Kukukualina!" Narakualina told him.

"What...the BLOODY 'ELL is wrong with you?" Inuyasha stared, then Koga came back, Ayame hugging him. She let go as soon as koga stopped.

"What's going on? Why did you scream Inu?"

"Well-"

"Never mind that! Marry me Koga!" Ayame cut Inuyasha off and glomped Koga.

"Anyways, that bloody Naraku transformed into a bloody female, and calls her self bloody Narakualina." Inuyasha explained. Koga looked at Narakualina in disgust and conformation.

"That was bloody nuckin futs!" Kikyo exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere. Inuyasha gasped.

"Where the bloody 'ell did you did you bloody appear from Kikyo? Nobody wants a bloody dead person in this bloody field! Get the 'ell outta this bloody field!" Inuyasha yelled.

"But Inuyasha! I must proclaim my love for...Narakualina?" she said, now unsure. Koga looked up from the person glomping him and started laughing.

"NARAKUALINA? What the f!#?" He laughed. Narakualina looked at him nastily before turning to Kikyo.

"Sorry, no gay people are aloud in this fan fic story. You must be exterminated!" Narakualina yelled at Kikyo, who died, yet again. Sango and Miroku walked up.

"Hey wait...Narakualina...aren't you supposed to be...dead?" Sango asked.

"Naraku...is Narakualina now? That's the one lady I will _never _be attracted to." Miroku said.

"You better not be bloody attracted to bloody Narakualina!" (just guess who said that...) Then Death the Kid appeared, with Liz and Patty in his hands in their gun form.

"OHMUHGOSH. YOU'RE SO...ASSYMETRICAL1~$#%!$#^34^$%&^$" Kid yelled at Narakualina furiously. Narakualina just appeared confused. Then Sesshomaru appeared.

"And you guys think The Mighty Sesshomaru is strange. Look at that guy," Sesshomaru said, pointing at Kid.

"Sesshomaru, it is impolite to point." Koga pointed out, struggling to get away from Ayame.

"Shut up. The Mighty Sesshomaru will point at anyone the Mighty Sesshomaru wants to." he said. Narakualina was being attacked by Kid at the moment.

"GARBAGE! FILTHY ASSYMETRICAL GARBAGE!" Kid screamed at Narakualina.

"Er, you realize you're not symmetrical right?" Koga pointed out, finally having wriggled out of Ayame's fierce hug. Kid collapsed to the ground and began pounding his fist on it.

"You're right. I'm garbage...ASSYMETRICAL GARBAGE." He sobbed.

"Wh-what? You're not garbage...I mean I barely know you...but you're not...garbage." Koga said, caught unawared by this turn of events. All of a sudden Narakualina make a strange dieing noises. Maka had appeared with Soul.

"RAWR. DIE CREEPY BABOON LADY!" Maka shouted. A red kishin egg soul was all that remained of Narakualina. Soul quickly gobbled the soul.

"Um...what just happened?" Sango asked no one in particular. It was Miroku who provided an answer.

"Well, Maka, Soul, Death The Kid, Elizabeth, and Patricia all come from a different place called Death City. They collect evil Kishin egg souls from pre-kishins, and I guess Narakualina was one of them...?" he explained.

"How the bloody 'ell did you know all of that Miroku?" Inuyasha asked.

"I...don't really know."

THE END.

**I know...second random story today. I was listening to This Is Halloween by Marilyn Manson while writing this. And don't take the gay comments personally please. I don't know what made me make Naraku Narakualina. So...don't ask.**


	4. Reality TV Show Episode 1

**Author's Note: WOOHOO. Weirdness will ensue this Authors note. This is inspired by my Death Note Sims 3 Family(Idunno why I made one...I was bored at like...11 at night kay?). Really...Really...REALLY STRANGE.**

***In Light, Misa, and L's New House*(DONT ASK WHY THEY BOUGHT ONE TOGETHER)**

"Right...I'm going to stay in my room and be a detective...so...later?" L said, beggining to head to his room. Light stopped him.

"L Lawliet, I declare you my nemesis!"

"I'm Misa Misa!"

"Shut up Misa."

"Okay...Why Am I your nemesis again?" L asked Light.

"Because...I am evil, along with Misa. She's really stupid though, so she'll just _dislike _you." Light explained. He let L walk into his room and lock the door. Light then began preparing waffles for Misa and himself. (really just himself). When he was done, he began getting plateful after plateful of waffles. He began getting really really fat. At this point, L was a fantastic detective, and was the best in the world. He had also found a new star, which he named 'Kira Sucks'.

"He L, wanfa phigt?" Light asked through a mouthful of food. L just looked at him strangely then laughed.

"Um, yeah right. L would never fight you Light. He's too scared. I'm Misa Misa!" Misa attempted to insult L. It didn't work so well at all. L just began snickering even more.

"No- I just don't wanna hurt fatty here to badly. He's eaten more waffles in an hour then I can count. That's pretty sad." L pointed out. Misa looked dumbstruck then looked at her husband, who had infact blown up like a blimp. Music began playing in the backround.

_Everybody needs to get a blimp, cuz blimps are pretty pimp, you can fill them up with air, but that won't get you anywhere, advertise upon the side, take your girlfriend for a ride, just fill up the balloon, with the very best gas in toon. Heliuuum! Heliuuum! You need helium to fill that bitch up, it's the second symbol on the periodic table, oxygen and Nitrogen are way behind it, as chemicals go they're both pretty stupid!_

"Um...what the hell do you guys listen to while I'm in my room?" L asked.

"I like blimps. I'm Misa Misa!" Misa cheered.

"I. Hate. You. Sometimes. Misa." Light face palmed, then tackled L to initiate a fight. The brawl went on for about five seconds before Light lost horribly. He began crying and pouting and Misa tried to comfort him.

"Light dear, let's go do something...like...get you a job in the criminal career! I'm Misa Misa!" Misa suggested. L went back into his room and Light got a job as a pickpocket. The second day on the job, he got arrested by L(I mean really, what dummy announces they're a criminal in front of the world's greatest detective? I'll tell you who. Light Yagami.)

He was sent to jail for a year. Misa cried all the time in his absence. She then became a hairstylist and shaved all her clients bald and gave them all mustard yellow makeup. It was truly horrible. She threatened not to stop until Light was released, so they let him out 3 days earlier than schedeuled. (Lot of difference there.)

"Light-kun! You're home! I'm Misa Misa!"(you know who said that right?)

"Yes captain state the obvious." Light said nastily.

"Don't you love me anymore? I'm Misa Misa!"

"I'm not sure if I do!" Light protested. "You're so annoying. And at the end of every sentence, you say 'I'm Misa Misa!' Everyone already knows. You don't have to remind us."

"Why are you being so mean to me? I'm Misa Misa!"

"Because you're dumb." Light said. Little did he know, L had watched the entire arguement.

"Way to lose your wife Light. What's your intention. I mean, you're basically pushing away the one person in this world who actually _likes _you. Why the hell would you do that?" L asked. Light looked dumbfounded.

"That's not my intention at all. Am I unknowingly doing that?" he asked. L face palmed.

"Yes you dumb ass."

"Ohhh..."

*In Inuyasha's Living Room*

"That...was the bloody dumbest thing I've ever bloody seen." Inuyasha stated.

"I...completely agree." Koga said.

"I liked it. Kukuku..." Naraku said.

"Wait a second. What the hell Naraku. You've been killed multiple times. Stay dead!" Sango yelled. Naraku poofed away. Miroku laughed.

"Nice going Sango."

"The Mighty Sesshomaru hates yet loves that reality TV show." Sesshomaru said.

"I know what you mean." Koga agreed.

"Yes. Even though it's the dumbest bloody show in the bloody world, it's bloody entertaining." Inuyasha enthused. Then Kagome walked in.

"What the hell are you all doing?"

THE END.

**Author's Note: Most of the things that happened before Inuyasha's living room actually happened in the Sims. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt when I was playing Sims last night. This is probably the least funny story so far ;p.**


	5. Naraku's Diary, Entries 1, 2, and 3

**Author's Note: WOOHOO. Weirdness will again ensue this Authors note. This isn't really a crossover this time. Title says all. Naraku's Diary, Entries 1, 2, and 3. There will probably be more in later stories ;D. And much love to all my reviewers! In case you haven't noticed, I read every review I get ;)! So yours won't go unnoticed!**

**Entry 1:**

Dear Diary,

My name is Naraku. I am a crazy, bi-polar(hey, they say the first step to recovery is admitting your problem right?), half-demon who wears a baboon suit. Note to self, get that thing dry-cleaned. It's beggining to smell. Kukuku...

Today, that terrible villain Inuyasha destroyed another one of my puppets, along with that wench Kagome. I can't beleive how destructive they are. They have absolutely no respect for my property kukuku... It's getting tedious. It's always the same thing.

I get accused of being evil, Inuyasha tries and fails to break through my barrier, I van-cackle, and by some miracle they manage to injure me and I must run away. Kukuku...

Then there's that creepy dead lady who follows me around and declares she loves me. How gross...Ew Kukuku...I hate her. But for some reason even if I kill her she just comes back... It's strange. Kukuku... Kikyo was her name, I think.

Wow, I must sound like a little girl gossiping about people. *Squee* I think I'll glomp Kagura later. She needs a little love. I think she hates me. Maybe I can make her love me kukuku...

Then there's Kanna. She's totally grounded from her phone. She's so annoying. She's gone way over her minutes this month. And to call Kohaku. I mean, he lives in the same building kukuku... Why would you use minutes by talking to someone who lives in the sam building kukuku...

Well that's all for now, Naraku.

**Entry 2:**

Dear Diary,

I ended up getting injured by Inuyasha again. I had almost completely absorbed his half brother Sesshomaru, but he stopped me. Oh god, how I despise Sesshomaru kukuku. He talks in third person, and calls himself the Mighty Sesshomaru. It's disgusting.

I glomped Kagura. I got the sense I wasn't her type from the black eye and bloody nose. Love hurts. I've learned that from her. I was trying to trash talk about Sesshomaru with her, and she got pretty mad. I don't know why though. Perhaps she likes him, and that's why she doesn't like me. If that's the case, he's next on my list to kill. It makes me hate him even more kukuku...

Kanna's mad that I grounded her from her phone. I think she somehow has another one though, because I hear her talking all the time still. Either she has another phone, or she's talking to herself and making up conversations. If it's the latter, I'm worried about her sanity.

I suppose that most of the readers beleive I'm the villain here. Ever thought about how I feel even once? Probably not. What if I'm the victim here? All I want is the Shikon Jewel, and those meanies are trying to steal it from me! I want it so that I can prevent Inuyasha from becoming a full demo(lies) kukuku... Fine, don't beleive me kukuku...

I didn't get my baboon costume dry-cleaned, so it still smells like ass. Big smelly ass. Oh well. I suppose it serves me right, seeing as I make people breath in my miasma all day, I suppose it's a taste of my own medicine. Kukuku...

Well, that's all for now, Naraku.

**Entry 3:**

Dear Diary,

I suppose that everyone in the world hates me by now. That wolf demon Koga is particularly angry. I don't care, and I don't even understand why he's so upset. It's dumb. I only made Kagura kill most of his friends and family. I mean, what's the big deal. It's all just war. That's just the way it had to be. I had to manipulate him into killing Inuyasha. Even that didn't work though, and both disgusting canines survived the battle.

I've put Kanna in therapy, because I found out she was going through cell- phone withdrawal. Whatever the hell that is kukuku... She had indeed been making up conversations. What a freak.

Kagura tried to sneak away. I was very angry with her, but I eventually got over it because I love her. I still haven't been able to get rid of Sesshomaru. He's the only one that stands in my way. It's extremely angering. How can one stupid dog demon be the only thing that stands in the way? It makes no sense.! Kukuku...

I finally got that smelly baboon's ass cleaned. Now it smells like miasma. What a lovely change kukuku... It's still horrible kukuku. I should just get rid of it. Maybe it's another reason why Kagura doesn't love me!

Well, that's all for now, Naraku.

**Author's Note: So...whataya think? Funnier than the last story? And sorry for grammatical and spelling errors. Feeling a bit lazy today.**


	6. Hn, Idiot

**A/N: Ah...I know I haven't posted in awhile. It seems as though all the funny in me disappeared when I watched the Band of Seven die in Inuyasha. I've come up with two ideas, here's the first one ^^. And I just got into Naruto...so I'll include it! WARNING: Hakudoshi bashing along with Kikyo...and possibly Naruto...and Renkotsu...and Naraku of course! Very vell...vets begin. **

*Somewhere in nowhere*

Inuyasha and Sasuke Uchicha were currently arguing about who knows what.

"You're a bloody fool." Inuyasha yelled.

"Hn. Idiot." was Sasuke's reply. Inuyasha was infuriated!

"Stop bloody saying bloody 'hn.' It's bloody annoying!" he screamed angrily. Sasuke smirked.

"You're an idiot. Look at my fire jutsu." he said, preforming his fire jutsu. Then Kagome appeared.

"It's like FIRE!" she exclaimed. Sasuke and Inuyasha face-palmed.

"Idiot." was all Sasuke said. Inuyasha had a little more...colorful way of putting it.

"You're a bloody fool Kagome. You're so bloody stupid I think I love bloody Kikyo more than I bloody love you. You bloody state the bloody obvious!" he shouted. Then for no apparent reason, Hakudoshi appeared.

"Shut the front door!" he yelled. Kagura appeared behind him, and rolled her eyes.

"Stupid kid..." she muttered.

"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" he yelled again.

"Hn...what an idiot..." Sasuke muttered.

"Shut...the front door." Hakudoshi said, once again.

"He's like...a kid!" Kagome exclaimed.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL KAGOME. YOU'RE SO BLOODY STUPID!" Inuyasha screamed.

"Hn. What idiots..." Sasuke said. Then Kikyo appeared.

"Did you know-" she began, but Kakashi appeared and cut her off.

"You take a half hour just to decide whether to breathe or not. The ONE F-ing time you decide to shoot...you shoot Suikotsu? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he asked her, then began reading his book.

"SHUT THE...FRONT DOOR!" Hakudoshi yelled obnoxiously. Then Naraku appeared. In a sweatsuit.

"Hello kukuku..." he said, smiling ominously. Then Renkotsu appeared. In a dress. With a blond wig on.

"I ish Renkotsu. Youz shall callsh meh thatsh for allsh eternitaiy." he said, clearly drunk.

"Shut...the front...DOOOOOR!" Hakudoshi screeched.

"Hn. What idiots...I must have stopped in the idiot convention. And Kakashi sensei," Sasuke said.

"Yes?" Kakashi asked, looking up from his book.

"You're...boring. Very boring. The KING of boring." Sasuke stated. Kakashi just went back to reading his book.

"I am a raging hypothetical." Kikyo answered Kakashi's previous question.

"Kikyo...that makes no bloody sense..." Inuyasha told her.

"Shut the front door." Hakudoshi said.

"I want someone to love meeee~! Kukuku..." Naraku cried, then glomped an unsuspecting Kagura.

"Washhhupppp guysh..." Renkotsu asked, and then he tripped on Sasuke's strechted out leg.

"Oops." Sasuke said.

"That...was bloody hilarious. Breathe some bloody fire on bloody Renkotsu next. He needs a bloody taste of his own bloody medicine." Inuyasha laughed.

"Hn. No." Sasuke smirked.

"Bloody what?" Inuyasha screamed angrily.

"I said...NO." Sasuke

"Feh." Inuyasha huffed.

"Hey Inuyasha! That guy...is like...a NINJA!" Kagome exclaimed.

"Hn...what an idiot..." (guess who.)

"Wait...was she talking about me or you?" Kakashi asked Sasuke.

"Hn. I don't know. Either way...she's an idiot." he answered.

"Naraku! I love you even though you killed me!" Kikyo proclaimed.

"Shut up you stupid clay pot...kukuku." Naraku grumbled. Then Naruto appeared.

"Vats vup Sasuke?" he asked. Sasuke just stared at him.

"What the bloody hell?" Inuyasha yelled.

"Is thinksh I'm going nutsh." Renkotsu said.

"Vell...Vi vink vat vis vace vis very vierd." Naruto pointed out.

"Hn. What an idiot..." Sasuke sighed.

"Naruto...why are you talking like that?" Kakashi asked, still not looking up from his book.

"Vi von't vo." Naruto answered.

"Kikyo! Die kukuku..." Naraku screamed and killed the clay pot, once again.

"Bloody no! You just bloody killed bloody Kikyo!" Inuyasha screeched.

"Hn...why do you even care idiot. You and the idiot Kagome are soul mates or something. Idiot." (we all know who said that. If you don't get your brain fixed. HAHA JK.)

"What the bloody hell did you just bloody say to me?"

"I believe he said we're soul mates!" Kagome squealed.

"Bloody save me bloody now..." Inuyasha moaned.

THE END!

**A/N: So...funny enough? Sorry again for not writing for awhile...but...I lost my funny abilities for awhile there! **


	7. Character Interviews Part 1

**A/N: I HAD to write these. A plot bunny came...and sadly, I LISTENED! Character Interviews...from multiple shows. I KINDA got the idea from my friend Revina...so please don't think I'm stealing you're idea...this is a crack-fic...and I write whatever comes to my head. Please...don't take these the wrong way! I love MANY of these characters...but..that doesn't stop me from making fun of them XD! Here we go...first interview is Inuyasha.**

**~Interview One: Inuyasha~**

Interviewer: Hello Inuyasha!(That is his name right?)

Inuyasha: Feh. I don't bloody know why I bloody agreed to bloody do this...

Interviewer: Well, we all thank you for agreeing! First off, we'd like to ask you...what do you think of your brother Sesshomaru?

Inuyasha: Isn't it bloody obvious? I bloody hate bloody him!

Interviewer: Ah...that's interesting. Next, do you love Kikyo or Kagome more?

Inuyasha: I don't bloody know! They're both bloody annoying...and Kikyo's bloody dead...but Kagome's a bloody fool and states the bloody obvious! Hm...

Interviewer: Hm...tough choice there(isn't one of the people dead? Wouldn't you want to be with someone alive?). How about our next question. Why do _you _hate Naraku?

Inuyasha: Well...because...he's a bloody prick. I really don't bloody know.

Interviewer: Well, what an interesting answer! That will conclude Inuyasha's interview! Goodybye!

**~Interview Two: Naraku~**

Interviewer: Hello Naraku!

Naraku: Hello...kukuku...

Interviewer: Now, we only have two questions for you. The first one is, how does it feel being the only villain in history to become the enemy of seven _dead _mercenaries?

Naraku: It feels...lame...kukuku...

Interviewer: Well, YOU ARE LAME! HOW COULD YOU KILL BANKOTSU YOU SICK MONSTER! I HATE YOU!

*We are experiencing Interviewer difficulties. Please wait while the interviewer calms down.*

Interviewer: Sorry about that kids. Anyway, next question. Why are you so...evil?

Naraku: I...don't know...kukuku...

Interviewer: Alright. That was the LAMEST interview in history! Oh well! Let's get to someone everyone DOESN'T hate!

**~Interview Three: Naruto Uzumaki~**

Interviewer: Hello Naruto!

Naruto: VELLO!

Interviewer:...Eh...yeah. First question, Why do you like ramen so much?

Naruto: Vecause vit's VICK VASS.

Interviewer:...uh...yeah. Okay...on with the next question...What are your feelings about Sasuke? Do you think he can be saved?

Naruto: Vell...Vi von't vo. Vaybe...vho veally vares? *Vi vate vhat vuy...* Vell...Vi vope ve van ve vaved...

Interviewer: (What? What did he say?) Right...Um...Next question I guess? Right...so...do you approve of these pairings on fanfic: Sasuke/Naruto, Sakura/Naruto, and Gaara/Naruto?

Naruto: Vell...Sasuke vand ve...is vuts. Vi von't vever vant vo ve vith vim. Sakura vand ve...vi vike...Gaara van ve...vis...vo vomment von vy vart.

Interviewer:...(what the f-k did he just say?) Well...the last question is...why do _you _hate Naraku?

Naruto: Vho vis vat? Vi von't vo vim.

Interviewer: Right...that's all the time we have today...so...bye(PLEASE PEOPLE! NEXT TIME GET SOMEONE WHO EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND!)

**~Interview Four: Orochimaru~**

Interviewer: Er...hello...(I HATE YOU.)

Orochimaru: I am a thnake.

Interviewer: Yeah...(GOD...I ASKED FOR SOMEONE WHO I COULD F-KING UNDERSTAND!) First question...why did you pick Sasuke instead of Sakura?

Orochimaru: Thathuke theemed better.

Interviewer: Hm...YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED SAKURA YOU BASTARD! OH MY GOD! IF YOU HAD, THEN SHE WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN INTERESTING! *throws a knife at Orochimaru and it kills him*

*The show has been stopped momentarily. No more Orochimaru for YOU!*

**~Interview Five: Gaara~**

Interviewer: Oh my god! It's my favorite character from Naruto!

Sasuke: Hey...what about me :(!

Interviewer: This isn't you damn interview...and you turn evil '..

Sasuke: Hn. Idiot.

Interviewer: That's it! GOODBYE!

*Sasuke poofs away*

Interviewer:...anyway, it's like my only favorite character in anime who doesn't die :D!

Gaara: ...actually...I did die.

Interviewer: WHAAA? NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO-

Gaara: But I was brought back to life.

Interviewer: :D! Anyhoo, perhaps we should get to the interview?

Gaara: *silence*

Interviewer: Right...(forgot he's the silent type...) First question is...how did it feel when you died?

Gaara: What kind of question is that?

Interviewer: *ashamed* I...don't know :(. So...you won't answer the question?

Gaara: *silent again*

Interviewer: I'll take that as a no...next question I guess? Right...so...why do you wear eyeliner?

Gaara: IT'S NOT EYELINER DAMMIT!

Interviewer: Then...what is it?

Gaara: I suffer from insomnia...so I have dark circles around my eyes!

Interviewer: Oh...that makes sense...*starts slowly creeping over to Gaara's side* Next question. Do you like being the Kazekage?

Gaara: *no answer*

Interviewer: Right...I guess you have no feelings about that. Next question shall we?*gets closer to Gaara*

Gaara: NO.

Interviewer: Heh...*is sitting next to him now* Next question...do you approve of the pairing Sakura/Gaara?

Gaara: ...no...

Interviewer: How about...Sasuke/Gaara?

Gaara:...no.

Interviewer: What about...Naruto/Gaara?

Gaara: ... ... ...no.

Interviewer: Well...I approve of OC/Gaara! *tackles him*

Gaara: H-hey! W-what are you doing! Get off me!

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. We are having...technical...difficulties...(hey, make sure the sound doesn't come back on!)*

Gaara: GET THE F-K OFF OF ME!

Interviewer: Rapeeeeeee Mwuhahahaha!

*SO SORRY ABOUT THAT EVERYONE! That will conclude today's show!*

**A/N: Well...think of the interviewer as...kind of me. I wouldn't rape an anime character...no matter WHO it was. Well, if there's anyone you want me to interview, make a request! Anyone who was previously mentioned in any story will be accepted. Lemme know!**


	8. Character Interviews Part 2

**A/N: Mhmkay...I've gotten a few requests...and a few more ideas...so I'll write :D!**

**~Interview One: Light Yagami~**

Interviewer: Light...

Light: HERRO!

Interviewer: Why...am I interviewing so many people that I hate?

Light: You...hate me? Why? *cries*

Interviewer: Because...you killed L...and...you caused global warming.

Light: Mwhuhahaha...

Interviewer: Uh...right. First question...are you gay?

Light: Maybe...

Interviewer: Okay that's it...you can send me to jail for two murders now, cuz I don't think I can stand this bastard any longer. *stabs Light multiple times.* Okay...NEXT F-KING INTERVIEW!

**~Interview Two: Deidara~**

Interviewer: Hello...Deidara was it?

Deidara: Yeah...

Interviewer: Right...(akward much?) First question...(okay what the hell is with this question?) Are...you...a girl?

Deidara: NO.

Interviewer: Are you sure?

Deidara: I am NOT a girl.

Interviewer: You sure?

Deidara: I am NOT a f-king GIRL.

Interviewer: Are you positive?

Deidara: Oh my f-king god...I'm a MAN!

Interviewer: You positive?

Deidara: Yes I am f-king positive! I mean, don't you think I would f-king know if I were a f-king woman? Do I look like-

Interviewer: Yes, yes you do look like a woman.

Deidara: What the f-k? I do NOT look like a f-king woman! Just because Tobi calls me a f-king woman all the f-king time does not f-king mean I'm a f-king woman!

Interviewer: Woah, calm down there. Next question I guess...So...how did it feel losing both of your arms?

Deidara: Well...it was just a flesh wound. I could still fight! I was fine! (A/N: Anyone else get it? Tell me if you do. I'm curious.)

Interviewer:...Uh...okay. Right...(next please? This guy is creeping me out...) That's all the time we have...

Deidara: Aw...that's stupid.

Interviewer: Excuse me?

Deidara: _You're _stupid.

Interviewer:...bye...?

**~Interview Three: Tobi~**

Interviewer: HI.

Tobi: HIIIIII~~~!

Interviewer: Enthusiasm much? Anyway...first question. Do you believe Deidara is secretly a girl?

Tobi: Yes.

Interviewer: Alright...(I don't know what to ask D:!) Uh...er...urm...AUGH THIS IS SO AKWARD!

Tobi: Is Tobi a bad boy?*eyes tearing up*

Interviewer: Wh...what?

Tobi: So Tobi _**IS **_a bad boy! WHY? What did Tobi do?

Interviewer: Wh...what? No...you're...good?

Tobi: So Tobi is a good boy?

Interviewer: Sure...

Tobi: YAY.

Interviewer: That's all the time we have...again...so...bye.

**~Interview Four: Shikamaru~**

Interviewer: Hi...?(Don't know what to expect with all these weirdos around...)

Shikamaru: This is troublesome.

Interviewer: How so?

Shikamaru: It was just a pain _getting _here.

Interviewer: How does that make you feel?

Shikamaru: What is this, a therapy session?

Interviewer: Yes, yes it is.

Shikamaru: What a pain...

Interviewer: How so?

Shikamaru: Screw this, I'm leaving.

Interviewer:*throws a pineapple at him.*

Shikamaru: I...don't get it.

Interveiwer: Why?

Shikamaru:*leaves*

Interviewer: Well...ta ta for now!

**~Interview Five: Sasuke~**

Interviewer: Oh my god! It's my former favorite character in Naruto!

Sasuke: Heyyy! That's not nice :(!

Gaara: God...you DON'T want to be her favorite...*remembers interview and shudders* ...Trust me.

Sasuke: Why? What happened?

Gaara: Trust me...you don't wanna know.

Sasuke: Oh...OH GOD. Sucks for you man...

Gaara: Shut the hell up. *gives death glare*

Interviewer: Heh...sh sh Gaara! This is Sasuke's interview remember?

Gaara: I'll gladly leave. *walks out the door.*

Sasuke: NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!

Interviewer: What a baby.

Sasuke: Hn, idiot.

Interviewer: Right...first question shall we?

Sasuke: Hn. No.

Interviewer: Oh...okay. Well, I'm asking anyways. Why do you turn evil?

Sasuke: Hn. Idiot. I don;t consider it evil, so I can't answer your question.

Interviewer: Alrighty then. Way to kill a good interview you stupid bastard.

Sasuke: Hn, idiot.

Interviewer: I wish Gaara was here...:(. Goodbye Uchicha.

Sasuke:*poofs away*

**~Interview Six: Black Star~**

Interviewer: Someone get me my coffee!

Stage crew: We're on!

Interviewer: Oh sorry! Hello! Who do I have the pleasure(not) of speaking to today?

B*S: Black Star! I will surpass god someday!

Interviewer: How the hell do you intend to do that?

B*S: I Don't Know! But I will! Mark my words!

Interviewer: Is it even possible to surpass god?

B*S: Of course!

Interviewer: Yeah, right. And...as if a midget like you could do it in the first place. If it were possible.

B*S: *pouts*

Interviewer: BYE.

**A/N: The interviewer is kinda me again. Sorry for lame Black Star interview...just getting tired here...:D. Yeah...I'm a lazy ass biatch who is currently reading angsty fics and eating harvest cheddar sun chips. Let me know if you got a few laughs from this story. OH god...I just realized no Inuyasha in this one D:! Lemme add Sesshomaru real quick:**

**~Interview Seven: Sesshomaru~**

Interviewer: Come on...I thought that stupid ninja-wannabe was the last one!

Sesshomaru: No! The Mighty Sesshomaru is the last one today!

Interviewer: Right. First question. Is it true that you love Rin...in...a non fatherly way?

Sesshomaru: No! The mighty Sesshomaru only views Rin as the Mighty Sesshomaru's daughter!

Interviewer: Kay. Next question. Is it true that Jakotsu refers to you as 'fluffy'?

Sesshomaru: The mighty Sesshomaru does not know.

Interviewer: . Last question. Is Jaken your personal stepping stool?

Sesshomaru: Yes.

Interviewer: Alright! I'm done! NO MORE!

**A/N: Alright...THE END 8D!**


	9. Raccoon suits, barrels, and nosebleeds

**A/N: MHmkay...I have ideas that need a writin! Yeah...er...um...LOL. Glad everyone's liking this...especially you Blackmoon :)! And Ashley, hope you liked the Light and Black Star interview...I know the Black Star one sucked...sorry about that ha ha...This is dedicated to muh friend Katteline cuz...she's been feelin down lately. She needs some laughs LOL. :)! Enjoy! I did a drawing for this...CHIBI STYLE! It'll be on my deviant art when I scan it in and color it...**

~In nowhere called somewhere~

"God...Tobi...what did you do now?" Deidara sighed. Tobi laughed.

"Uh...Tobi is a good boy...he'll...fix it..." he chuckled nervously. Deidara sighed again.

"Whatever..." Then Inuyasha and Naruto appeared. "Heh...I bet you five bucks Naruto can beat that dog dude." Deidara challenged Tobi.

"I bet on the dog dude." Tobi replied.

"What the bloody 'ell! Who the bloody 'ell are you bloody people!" Inuyasha asked angrily.

"Vi'm Naruto!" Naruto exclaimed!

"I'm Deidara..." Deidara sighed.

"And I'm TOBI!" Tobi yelled enthusiacticlly.

"You two should fight..." Deidara slyly suggested.

"Bloody psh, I would bloody win."

"Vat! Vi vould vin!" Naruto exclaimed. Deidara snickered at the fighting 'idiots', as he referred to them as.

"Just fight and see who's right." he told them impatiently, wanting to know if he had won or lost five bucks.

"Feh. I'll bloody win bloody anyways." Inuyasha huffed and pulled out his sword.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto yelled, and multiple Naruto's began attacking Inuyasha. Then Sakura appeared.

"I am so smart but so useless!" she yelled, then began crying.

"Why...is she crying..." Deidara sighed. Then Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari appeared.

"I swear...you will NOT put that thing on me!" Gaara yelled and gestured towards the raccoon costume in Temari's hand.

"Aw come on! You'll look adorable!" she pouted then managed to slip the costume on. Gaara could barely move in the costume.

"**I. Hate. You.** As soon as I'm out of this...you're all so dead..." Gaara growled. Kankuro looked scared.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." he mumbled. Temari just smiled.

"How cute Gaara!" she giggled. Gaara just gave her a death glare. Then Rock Lee appeared.

"Nice new look Gaara! Very youthful!" he exclaimed then gave one of his signature smiles...and a thumbs up in Gaara's direction. Gaara just struggled to get the costume off even more, trying in vain to ignore Lee. Then Ino appeared.

"I have a sudden obsession with you Lee..." she said. Lee just backed away.

"I am too youthful to cheat on Sakura!" he protested. Then Shikamaru appeared.

"What a pain..." he sighed. Then Kagome walked up.

"What is?" she asked. Then Mr. Hn, Idiot himself approached.

"Him being alive." Sasuke yelled. Then Naraku appeared in his baboon suit.

"Hey now...that's not very nice!" he scolded. The Uchicha merely said, "Hn, Idiot." again. Then Renkotsu appeared wearing only a barrel. Bankotsu and Jakotsu appeared next to him. Renkotsu sighed.

"Baldy...wearing...a...barrel?" Bankotsu choked on the sake that had appeared in his hand for no apparent reason. Jakotsu merely giggled.

"Like his new look oo-aniki?" he asked politely. Bankotsu just spit out his sake and fell over with a nosebleed. "Bankotsu! Are you alright!"

"No Jakotsu. No. You...just...you...made him wear that barrel?"

"Of course oo-aniki! I think we all should wear barrels." Jakotsu answered, helping Bankotsu up.

"No. F-k no." Bankotsu replied. "No ifs no buts."

"Aw...no fair oo-aniki." Jakotsu whined. Then Hinata walked up with Neji.

"What's going on...?" Hinata timidly asked. Neji sighed.

"Nuts and crackers..." he said when he saw Renkotsu.

~In Writer's Office~

Angry Neji Fan Girl: What! Neji of all people just said 'nuts and crackers...'? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Me: I love how all the Inuyasha fan girls...and the Naruto fan girls...and...the...Naraku fan girls...and the Gaara fangirls...haven't done this. Only the _Neji _fan girl does...just my luck. I'm still making Neji say nuts and crackers. I like Neji...but he has to be funny! Don't read crack-fics if you don't want funny!

ANFG: Whatever. *pouts and goes away*

Me: Thank you! Back to the story now please...

~Back to Story~

And then Sasuke and Naruto deepened their kiss...

~Writers Office~

Me: Aw what the f-k! That wasn't...my idea. Get back to the _real _story.

~Back to REAL story~

"Excuse me...did you just say nuts and crackers? Can I have some?" Hinata asked Neji shyly. He turned and stared at her.

"No..." he answered.

"Aw..." she pouted. Neji turned his attention back to Renkotsu.

"Nuts and Crackers man! What on earth possessed you to wear that!" he cried. Renkotsu sighed.

"Jakotsu and his Jakotsusou..." he grumbled. Then Jiraiya possessed Neji.

"Byakugan!" Jiraiya/Neji yelled, activating the ability. Hinata watched in amazement as 'Neji' looked through Renkotsu's barrel...and saw...well, you know. Then Neji forced Jiraiya out and he landed on the ground one million miles away.

"NUTS AND CRACKERS MY EYES!" Neji screamed spitting out blood and passing out. Deidara noticed and sighed.

"What the f-k happened over here?" he asked exasperatedly. He wasn't a happy camper because Tobi had won the bet.

"Er...Jiraiya possessed Neji and used the Byakugan to look through the bald guy's barrel." Hinata answered sheepishly. Bankotsu overheard and bopped Jakotsu on the head.

"Ow! Oo-aniki what was that for?" he cried out indignantly.

"Don't play innocent! Renkotsu's 'new look' is causing a lot of problems! It made some poor guy pass out! You're grounded...for a week." Bankotsu shouted angrily. Jakotsu sighed and went to his room.

"Well...I guess I should take Neji back home..." Hinata sighed and left miraculously carrying Neji on her back. Then Kakashi appeared and sighed when he saw Deidara was miraculously perfectly fine.

"Okay really...I swear that guy lost both of his arms... I put one in another dimension after all..." he thought out loud. Kikyo walked up next to him.

"So you're the guy who keeps sending things to our dimension..." she screeched angrily.

THE END.

**A/N: So...uh...I think the next story will be about how the plot of Inuyasha was screwed up by the explosion that Kakashi sent to their dimension...tell me what you think!**


	10. Akatsuki and Inuyasha: Gorey Demise

**A/N: I gave up on that other idea...here's an idea that came to me when I was listening to gorey demise by creature feature...O.o weird, trust me. Listen to the song to get this...LISTEN TO IT FIRST. I GARUNTEEE (fail spelling) IT WILL BE FUNNIER.**

***People arguing***

Pein: Alright, everybody, SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND SHUT THE F-K UP! Since you are the sorriest excuses for villains in the world, it's time we sing a song to honour the characters of this show. (that didn't make sense, I know.) Like we always do, we start with A and end with Z. Anyone too stupid to not understand? Good. is the band ready?

Kisame: Ready!

Pein: Alright, hit it...you idiot Kisame!

Kisame: And, a one, and a two...?

Anko: A is for Anko who drowned in Orochimaru...WHAT?

Bankotsu: B is for Bankotsu who was eaten by...Zatsu O.o?

Choji: C is for Choji with an eating disorder so bad he died of a heart attack.

Deidara: D is for Deidara who exploded himself...and got high off of happiness when he did :). (LOL...)

Eruka: E is for Eruka Frog who was sufficated by her hat -.- Cause it's EVIL!(from Soul Eater, had no option but to put it in...no one else started with E D:)

F is for no one...cuz I don't know a show with anyone who starts with F :(.

Gaara: G is for Gaara...who was killed by no one, cuz he got alll emo and depressed and shit and jumped off a roof O.o

Hidan: H is for Hidan who some how died in one of Deidara's f-king explosions! The little mother f-ker!

Deidara: One by one we hit the dust, We kick the bucket and begin to rust! Give up the ghost when your number's up, we all BLOW UP :D!

Pein: No no, you're screwing up the lyrics! It's we all fall down...I'll continue...Ashes to ashes, bones to paste, you'll wither away in your resting place! Eternity in a wooden case, we all fall down!

Inuyasha: I is for bloody Inuyasha who just bloody died cause bloody Bankotsu bloody killed him...

Itachi: I was supposed to be for me...but I let him have it. Because Sasuke LACKS HATRED.

Jakotsu: J is for Jakotsu who was bitten by Naraku and Orochimaru :(.

Konan: K is for Konan who accidently stabbed herself with her origami! O.o

Kakazu: They wouldn't pay me to do it.

L: L is for L who died by a sugar rush over load.(needed an L people, work with me, work with me...)

Madara: M is for Madara who was burnt by Itachi's mad glare...

Naraku: N is for Naraku who was such a bastard that he exploded...(well really cuz one of Deidara's explosions hit him...but whatev.)

Neji: I let him do N because of.. things. Nut's and crackers though, he's...stupid.

Orochimaru: O is for Orochimaru who poisoned himself on accident.

Pein: P is for Pein who Hidan killed because of some...religious issues...

Deidara: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...and all that shit.O.o

Pein: All right BASTARDS, all together now!

Everyone: One by one we hit the dust, We kick the bucket and begin to rust! Give up the ghost when your number's up, we all fall down!  
>Ashes to ashes, bones to paste, you'll wither away in your resting place! Eternity in a wooden case, we all fall down!<p>

Q is for no one, cuz who the f-k's name starts with a Q?

Rock Lee: R is for Rock cuz..Sakura punched him to hard :(

Sasori: S is for Sasori who, due to being a puppet, died heartless and emotionless, and is wandering the Earth as a ghost forever!

Sakura: S is for Sakura who is so stupid she died. (had to throw that in there 0.0)

Sasuke: no, S is for Sasuke, who is so gay..and he killed Deidara, so he just...dies in a f-king hole -.-

Tobi: T is for Tobi who insulted Deidara-sempai one too many times! Tobi is a bad boy...

Uchicha's: U is for Uchicha's...who were trampled by a heard of angry Naruto clones...

Itachi: Sasuke, you lack HATRED.

Sasuke: SHUT IT.

V is for...I dunno people. :(.

Wall: W is for wall who got killed by all the dodgeballs that hit him in gym class D:!

Xellos: X is for Xellos who pissed off his boss so much she killed him...heh.(from Slayers...needed an X 'o,o)

Y is for...yango, who just..fell off a plane...

Zetsu: Z is for Zetsu who ate himself on 'accident'...

Pein: no, who simply went...

Everyone: INSANE! :D

THE END :D!

**A/N:...ridiculous...and really, a song inspired this...so YOU WON'T GET IT IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO THE F-KING SONG D:! LISTEN TO IT DAMMIT! K...review? :D! **


	11. The Hectic Dinner Party From Hell

**A/N: I got a great idea while eating at Olive Garden...LOL...you'll laugh. Don't sue me for writing too much LOL D:! I know...I write a lot. Unsurprisingly, these don't take all that long to write...LOL. But sadly, I may, key word may, not be able to write more of anything for awhile...due to a possible muscle problem in my arm...p.p Dunno if it's bad yet...O.o. Anyhoo, enjoy :D**

**~At some restaurant, many random characters are at a restaurant together for no apparent reason :D(Well actually, Naraku held a dinner party for villains, and Pein decided to bring the Akatsuki for some free food lol)~**

Pein sighed. "Why are we here again? Shouldn't we figure out some way," he glared at Kakuzu, "To get more funds! Not spending money needlessly!"

"Remember, Naraku said he was going to pay, un." Deidara reminded him.

"As long as I don't have to pay," Kakuzu said. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Stupid fuckface, is money all you fucking care about?" he yelled. Kakuzu rolled his eyes. Then a waiter came over.

"Excusehmwah? What would you like to drink?"

"...something to get me drunk." Pein sighed. He wanted to forget about how terrible his group of villains was, even if it would only last for a little while. The waiter nodded.

"I'd like some water." Kakuzu told him. He wasn't going to spend extra money on something as stupid as a coke...

"I'd like an energy drink...preferably a monster." Hidan requested, reveling in the look of dread on everyone's faces. No one liked him after he drank an energy drink. He stabbed himself too much, then walked around with his big-ass scythe through his torso. And that freaked Tobi out a little too much, and sent Zetsu in a debate with himself about whether or not to eat Hidan...

"Did you have to order an energy drink Hidan?" Kisame sighed. The said Jashinist smiled smugly and nodded.

"...idiot..." was all Itachi had to say. Pein was crying on the inside.

"Must you be so loud?" he nearly whined. Konan sensed his distress and squeezed his hand under the table. He smiled thankfully in her direction.

"TOBI SAW KONAN HOLDING PEIN-SAMA'S HAND UNDER THE TABLE!" Tobi rudely pointed out. Hidan laughed.

"No, fucking, way." he snickered. The waiter ahemed.

"Oh, right. I'd like..um...water..?" Kisame told the rather irratated man.

"Tobi would like...PEPSI!(Inside joke...LOL.)" Tobi yelled. The waiter sighed and nodded.

"...I'd like orange juice." Zetsu's white side told the waiter. The black side was about to contradict but the waiter had already turned to Itachi.

"...water." he said.

"I'd like some apple juice, un." Deidara told the waiter happily. Hidan snickered.

"I'd like a margherita," Konan told the waiter politely. He nodded. He turned to Orochimaru, who no one else realized was there...

"I'd the thome...thawberry thuice." he told the waiter. The waiter sighed and nodded...he'd just get him juice of some sort. He turned to Sasu-gay. (That's right, I hate that dick face for killing Itachi and Deidara...and I'm not to happy about Shikamaru burying Hidan alive either.)

"Uh, I'd like some-"

"Sasuke, you LACK HATRED." Itachi inturrepted. Sasu-gay frowned.

"I'd like-"

"You. LACK. HATRED." Itachi intterupted again. Sasu-gay scowled even deeper.

"I want some damn chocolate milk!" he yelled before Itachi could interrupt him. The waiter sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

"I want some white milk please, kukuku." Naraku told the waiter, and said man nodded and quickly ran away from the table of very odd people. In fact, the waiter was dreading the very aspect of having to ask those people what they wanted to eat. That waiter's name was Inuyasha. And he really didn't want to go back out there...because Naraku may recognize him! Sure, he'd dyed his hair orange, but still, what if?

"So..you like fucking apple juice Deidara?" Hidan snickered. Deidara scowled.

"Shut up, un. So what if I like apple juice?"

"Apple juice is for fucking babies...or fucking kindergartners..."

"There are kindergartners?" Zetsu's black side asked. Deidara shook his head.

"No, there are no fucking kindergartners!" Hidan beat him to explaining that no, there are not kindergartners anywhere near the restaurant...and even if there were, no one would tell Zetsu. They watched as the waiter brought back their drinks and asked what they wanted to eat.

"I'd like...lobster please...(spending as much money as possible lol)" Pein told the exhausted waiter.

"I'd like a hamburger, no toppings, and certainly no cheese...but a LOT of ketchup..." Kakuzu requested, not wanting to spend money on...cheese, the cheapskate!

"I'd like a steak!" Hidan said hungrily...(lol, he's hyper due to energy drink...that he took 1 FUCKING SIP OF LOL!)

"I'd like soup...BUT NOT SHARK FIN SOUP YOU SICK, SICK PEOPLE!" Kisame nearly screamed...

"Tobi would like a lollipop!" Tobi said enthusiastically. The waiter sighed, then decided to go along with it...

"I would like an arm." Zetsu told the waiter. Inuyasha was freaked out for a moment, then decided, hey, I still have Sesshomaru's arm...I could give him that.

"I'd like...a grilled chicken sandwich." Itachi nearly mumbled. He was still grumbling a bit about being blind...

"I'd like chicken fingers, un." Deidara said. Hidan snickered...yet again.

"I'd like sushi!" Konan requested. Kisame looked horrified.

"I like a thawberry thortcake!" Orochimaru exclaimed. Inuyasha sighed and turned to Sasu-gay.

"I'd-"

"You. Lack. HATRED!" Itachi intterrupted. Again.

"I JUST WANT SOME GOD DAMN CEREAL!" Sasu-gay yelled before Itachi could say anything. Hidan mumbled, "Jashin damnit" under his breath. Kakuzu muttered something about..."Sasuke sucking," and that set Itachi off.

"Sasuke, it has been a long time since we last met, and you have grown stronger. But that is not enough because-" But before he finished Konan punched the living shit out of him and he shut up.

"I'd like grilled salmon please, kukuku..." Naraku dismissed the waiter, who ran away as fast as he could. Ten minutes later,(I know, ridiculously short amount of time to wait for food LOL) he brought all the food back. Pein ate his lobster while Kakuzu slowly took a bite of his hamburger. Unfortunately for him, some of the ketchup that had been on his burger squirted onto Hidan's steak.

You see, Hidan didn't like his food touching. At all. And one of the things he hated the most was ketchup touching steak. And that's why Kakuzu was worried. Hidan didn't normally worry him. But the first and last time someone had gotten ketchup on Hidan's steak...well, let's just say it didn't end well. "Food contamination." was all Hidan said. Kakuzu gulped. "Food...contamination! Food CONTAMINATION! FOOD CONTAMINATION! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU GET FUCKING KETCHUP ON MY FUCKING STEAK!" he yelled and threw Kakuzu's poor burger...and it landed on Sasu-gay's face. Hidan got distracted by that and started cracking up. Kakuzu sighed in relief. "That's fucking hilarious! Oh my Jashin! That's sooo fucking funny!" Hidan laughed, pointing at Sasu-gay's ketchup covered face.

"What? What's funny? I wanna see!" Itachi pouted, listening to everyone's snorting and laughing...and...hissing? From Orochimaru most likely... Then Konan sent a paper air plane at Sasu-gay's face and...it stuck to him! LOL! It got stuck in all the ketchup and burger...cuz that was still plastered to his face. That sent everyone into another fit of laughter.

And that's how Naraku learned to _never _hold a dinner party for villains...especially if the Akatsuki says they're coming.

**A/N: Funny? Took me awhile to write...cuz I was feeling SLEEPY LOL. Anyhoo, REVIEW! :D**


	12. Random Collabs

**A/N: AHLOL. Uhm...right. This is a collab of randomness :D. Enjoyyy~!**

**:Collab Number One:**

Tobi: Zetsu-san, are you married?

Zetsu: No.

Tobi: Why not?

Zetsu: I like meat too much.

Tobi: You can get married...and still like meat.

Zetsu: I didn't know that.

**:Collab Number Two:**

Kisame: So...why are you here again?

Suigetsu:...I want your shark skin.

Kisame: O.O.

Suigetsu: What? I wanna be powerful! I already have Zabuza's sword but...

Kisame: Isn't it funny how that guy keeps coming up even though he's been dead since Naruto: Episode 20 or something like that?

Suigetsu: You have a point...

Kisame: I know I do, that's why I said it!

Suigetsu: What were we talking about again?

Kisame: I don't...remember.

Fail. :D.

**:Collab Number Three:**

Sasu-gay: Brother I-

Itachi: My, have you grown~! Let me take you home and you can meet grandpa Madara...

Sasu-gay: WHAT?

Itachi: Come on little brother, why so suprised?

Sasu-gay: You realize you just ruined like...the entire story line of Naruto?

Itachi: I did? Oops. Oh well.

lol...bigger fail.

**:Collab Number Four:**

Kakuzu: I planned everything out...

Hidan:*snickers*

Kakuzu: But I failed to calculate one thing...

Hidan:*snickers loudly*

Kakuzu: He's a dumb ass. And there's no accounting for a dumb ass...

Hidan: Are you fucking talking about me again?

Kakuzu: NO! I was talking about Sasori!

Sasori's ghost: Oh were you?

Kakuzu: Oh shit. Fine. Yes Hidan, I was referring to you.

Hidan: Jashin damnit! You fucking miser!

Sasori's ghost:(does something he would never do) LOLOLOL IDIOTS!#!#!$*poofs away*

Hidan: What the fuck.

**:Collab Number Five:**

Konan: He's my best friend best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too? He tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy! Hey, you should get a best friend too!

Pein: Hoo ha, hoo ha!

Konan: Hello baby, can I see a smile!

Pein: I'm goin to a party and it's gonna be wild!

Konan: Can I come, I'm sitting alone :(

Pein: No friends are never alone!

Konan: Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world. Excuse me, I could also be your girl. Lately, everyone is making fun.

Both: Na na na na na, na na na na na na!

Konan: He's my best friend best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too? He tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy! Hey, you should get a best friend too!

Pein: Hoo ha, hoo ha!

Konan: Aloha baby, Let's go to the beach!

Pein: Girls in bikinis are waiting for me...*aw did I really have to say that :(* (Will never look at Pein the same way again o.o)

Konan: But I was hoping for a summer romance :(!

Pein: So why can't you take a chance?

Konan: Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world. Excuse me, I could also be your girl. Lately, everyone is making fun.

Both: Na na na na na, na na na na na na!

Konan: He's my best friend best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too? He tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy! Hey, you should get a best friend too!

Pein: Hoo ha, hoo ha!

Konan: Maybe, some pretty girls are in your world. Excuse me, I could also be your girl. Lately, everyone is making fun.

Pein: Let's get this party on, hit me with lazer-gun! OK. That's enough.

**:Collab Number Six:**

Misa: I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car!

Black Star: I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

Naruto: I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car!

Naraku: I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

Light: SUPERSTAR!

Misa: Got many money honey, I'm a superstar!

Black Star: My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?

Naruto: I know a of people, I am a superstar!

Naraku: Everybody know me, Right from near to far!

Light: ...DEATH NOTE.. O.o

*this program has been cancelled due to health issues...*

**:Collab Number Seven:**

This is a warning before you read on. You're eyes may bleed due to the mental image I am about to put in your minds...if you know who these guys are...

Shino: Sweet little bumble bee, I know what you want from me!

Naraku: Sweet little bumble bee, more than just a fantasy!

...right. Moving on.

**:Collab Number Eight:**

Kikyo: Lonely, I'm so lonely! I have nobody, to call my own!

Inuyasha: Oh just bloody get over it bloody Kikyo.

Mood killer there. LOL.

**A/N: LOL. Laughed when writing this. Hey, wanted to let ya'll know, I started a new series that centers around the Akatsuki! It's called Akatsuki Daze. Check it out for some laughs! And review it too! Reviews make me feel all special :3! I hope ya'll read it! The first chapter is funny at least...though slightly serious...FUNNY. And OOC. But surprisingly, I am capable of writing in character! :O! It's amazing, right? LOL. I just realized, Akatsuki Daze is my seventh story. Kid will kill me~! NOOOO! I need to write an eight one, and fast! Hahaha jk! Surprisingly enough...I have a juicy romancey thing planned for my next story :3...:D. Anyhoo, review! And read my other story...hehe. **


	13. The New Naruto Show

**A/N:...I have one word. Sai. Sai from Naruto. Sai=XD...'o.o...I had to write. LOL.**

So Inuyasha decided to watch an episode of a series I made up called: Naruto: The Very Improved Version Centering Around My Favorite Characters. It was the first episode. Gawd, how he loved that show.

***On Screen***

Gaara was strolling down a random street with...Sasori? They somehow became friends...and Gaara totally forgave Sasori for killing him. Because in the long run, they were kinda alike! They both didn't understand feelings. But little did they know, there was someone else with the same problem. And his name...was Sai.

"So Gaara...how is your day coming along?" Sasori asked.

"...It is fine..." Gaara responded, not really paying attention. His eyes were currently fixed on a black haired kid yelling innapropriate things to the world. Sasori heard as well and stared. The kid ran up to them and started babbling something.

"'Idon'tunderstandenoughaboutpeople Sowillyoubemyfriends?" Sai(yes it's him, who else could it be?) yelled. Sasori glared.

"No-"

"Sasori...let us at least...give him a chance..." Gaara told him. The puppet sighed.

"Fine..." he pouted. Yes, it's my story, and I can make the characters as out of character as I want.

"YAY!" Sai shouted. Gaara could feel a headache coming on. Perhaps he should have let Sasori say no to the obnoxious kid. Oh well...too late now, he mused.

"Yes...yay. Now let us go to the Kazekage compound before a sand storm comes and blows us away," he sighed impatiently. Sasori beamed internally at his friends impatience. Boy, had he taught that kid a lot in their short friendship. Because, they had only been friends for a week now. They were inseperable! It was...a strange and amazing thing.

"Yes. Everyone should know how much I despise waiting..." the red haired puppet sighed. Gaara nodded. Sai just smiled a fake smile and followed the Kazekage, who, might I add, was slightly disgruntled.

After a short walk, the threesome arrived at the Kazekage compound and were greeted by Baki, Temari, and Kankuro. "Howdy y'all!" Baki drawled. Everyone stared at him except for Sai, who was a bit preoccupied by staring at Kankuro's hood.

"...Baki, are you sure you are feeling alright?" the Kazekage asked. Baki smiled.

"Sure I'm awlraight, I feel all diddly-doo little whippersnapper!" he replied. Temari went and called a mental hospital while Kankuro started snickering, Sasori cackled madly(yet again something he would never do), Gaara looked at Baki as if he belonged in a loony bin, which he did it just so happens, and Sai stared at Kankuro's hood with cat ears some more.

"Right. Okay. So what the hell were we even going to do?" Sasori asked his red headed friend. Gaara shrugged.

"Well, since you boys had nothing to do, you can help me force Baki into a mental ward, because he's obviously gone off the deep end," Temari told them. "And bring your black haired friend too." Gaara frowned at that. And he remembered they didn't even know the kid's name.

"I'm Sai!" the black-haired boy piped up before Gaara could even ask. Sasori glared as menacingly as he could(and that was pretty menacing...) at Temari, who didn't even flinch.

"Your just like that pink haired...bitch!" the puppet exclaimed. Miles and miles away, Sakura's 'I just got called a bitch' senses tingled. So she punched the closest thing to her, which just happened to be a certain Sas-u-gay Uchicha. Who was already severely injured. So he died. And she cried. Then everyone in Konoha had a party which everyone who is truly involved in my story just happened to miss, celebrating the stupid Uchicha's death.

"Excuse me...did you just compare me to...SAKU-BUT?" the blonde girl screeched. Kankuro and Gaara looked scared.

"You shouldn't have offended her like that, jan," Kankuro told Sasori, who looked fairly indifferent.

"Whatever. Let's just wait for the mental hospital people get here to drag Baka away," the puppet sighed. Everyone looked confused.

"Er...excuse me? Who?" Temari forgot about her anger and asked.

"Baka," Sasori replied. He was driven uneasy by Gaara's stare. "Is something wrong?"

"His name...is not Baka, Sasori-kun, it's Bak_i,_" his friend told him. Temari and Kankuro started laughing. Then the mental hospital wardens showed up.

"Were is the insane person?" He asked. Gaara frowned at the person. He knew that voice. It was...his FATHER?

"You are not a mental hospital warden, you are...my father," the Kazekage frowned. Kankuro and Temari visibly tensed, Baki stayed in la la land, and Sasori growled at the said father of his said friend.

"DARN IT! FOILED AGAIN!" Gaara's dad yelled. Then all of a sudden Sasori pulled out a shotgun and shot the man twenty millions times. He counted. Gaara looked...more than a little suprised, Sai kept a fake smile on his face, Temari gagged, Kankuro...laughed, and Sasori smiled a triumphant smile, that had the possibility of scaring many little children. And it actually did. Quite a few little children ran screaming for their mothers, as if Itachi Uchicha had spoken one word to them. Because when he did, the children had a high likelyhood of becoming Black Riders like the nine men of Lord of the Rings.

"What...the hell just happened?" Temari asked blankly.

"I think...that Sasori-kun just killed our undead father," Gaara told her.

"That's right! I killed him...because he was a zombie, and not because I hated his guts for ruining my friend's life! Yeah...that's the explanation..." Sasori agreed with the lie that the fourth Kazekage was a zombie, because come on people, zombie aren't real! Even I don't want to put zombies and make my stories even more unbelievable!

"Ah...okay, jan," Kankuro said. Then the real mental hospital ward came.

"I dun't need tuh buh taken tuh a ment-all hospi-tall! I'm just fine young whippersnappers! This is a happy plashe!" Baki protested as he was dragged to the loony bin. Which he belonged in. TOTALLY.

"What was the point in all this?" Sai questioned. Everyone turned to face him, sweat-drops evident. They all sighed simultaneously.

"I...don't know," Sasori answered.

THE END.

***Back With Inuyasha***

"That was the bloody best show I've ever bloody seen! Show the next bloody episode stupid bloody TV!" Inuyasha shouted. When the said electronic device failed to comply, Inuyasha threw a shoe at it. Consequently, it broke. Kagome ran into the room when she heard glass shattering.

"Inu...yasha!" she growled. The said half demon whimpered and cowered in fear. "OSUWARI!"

**END**

**A/N: If I owned Naruto, this is how it would be written. Sasori and Gaara would be best friends, Sai would be..well...Sai, Kankuro and Temari would be...well, you know, Sakura would have 'somebody just called me a bitch' senses, Sasori would kill Gaara's dad, and Baki would be sent to a mental hospital. If anyone wants me to continue this show in later chapters, let me know, and I will!**

**REVIEW OR DIE. Jk. Please review though.**


	14. End to the Argument

**a/n: Shortest one yet. For a reason.**

Sasori and Deidara were arguing. Again.

"Art is fleeting!" Deidara yelled. Sasori sighed and shook his head.

"No brat, it's eternal!" He yelled back. It was Deidara's turn to shake his head.

"It's fleeting, un. I'm telling you, art is fleeting!" He shouted angrily. Sasori narrowed his eyes.

"Listen brat. You're starting to make me angry. Art is eternal! ETERNAL I TELL YOU, ETERNAL!" He shouted back. Deidara glared at his partner. How could Sasori not see that art is fleeting? Art is an explosion! It's not eternal! What's the fun in that?

Then all of a sudden Kikyo ran in. "Art is eternally fleeting, and is fleetingly eternal! SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" She yelled, stuck her tongue out, then ran away. The Akatsuki members were silent for a few moments, pondering what Kikyo had just told them. The both smiled.

"Art is eternally fleeting."

"Art is fleetingly eternal."

They said at the same time. Sasori looked at Deidara for a moment. "What did you just say, brat?" he asked.

"Art is fleetingly eternal, un," the blonde replied. Sasori narrowed his eyes again.

"It's eternally fleeting, brat," He sighed. Then, the argument started again. From his room, Pein sighed. He had asked Kikyo to do that for a reason, you know? He hoped the two artists would stop arguing. No such luck. At times like these, Pein just wanted to put duct tape over both of their mouths. Which he did, after five minutes of hearing the latest argument.

THE END.

**A/N:...Okay...short, sweet, and to the point. XD.**


	15. Sand Castles Aren't for Babies!

**a/n: I'm on a Naruto kick 'o.o. Psh, Sandcastles are _not _**for babies. X3. I love torturing Gaara for some reason. He's my favorite character in Naruto, but I love messing with him XD. ...Dunno why. Heh.****

Gaara was sitting in his office staring at the boring stack of papers that he could swear were _begging _him to use sand tsunami on them. Which he almost did, until Temari walked in. She looked at one of the pieces of papers and read aloud:

_Dear Kazekage-sama,_

_I would like to let you know, that some woman in my neighborhood is getting cheated on by her husband. In fact, her husband is cheating on this rather unfortunate woman with the baker, the postal service operator, her best friend, her neighbor, and me. That's right, me. _

_That is all, Sincerely,_

_BIG FAT ASS WOMAN WHO SUCKS._

"Seriously, Gaara? Do you really have to deal with this all the time?" the blonde asked. The look her brother gave her told her that yes, he got those god-forsaken letters everyday, and he hated them so so so so much that he wanted to burn them all and then dance on their ashes. Which he couldn't do. Sadly. "Right...I'll just leave you alone then," she laughed then left. Gaara was left stare at the stack of papers, until another distraction in the form of his older brother came in.

"G'day, brother!" Kankuro said politely. The red-head stared at him for a moment. This was not normal Kankuro behaviour.

"Hello...Kankuro?" he greeted, a bit unsure.

"Would you like some tea? I do appreciate a good cup 'o tea and some tea sandwiches!"

"Excuse me...?"

"Would you like to go build a sand castle?" Kankuro smiled and pulled his brother out of the office by the ear to the playground with it's little sand box.

"Kankuro...sand castles are for babies!" Gaara whined. Kankuro ignored him completely and continued pulling Gaara by the ear. When they finally reached the sand box, he threw the red-head on the ground.

"I assure you, as long as you have a cup of tea while you build them, sandcastles are not for babies," the older sibling assured. Gaara looked unconvinced. So Kankuro handed him a cup of tea...or...rather, he forced his younger sibling to drink tea. By shoving it down his throat. Gaara nearly choked to death before some random civilian, which by the gods happened to be Matsuri, used the heimlick maneuver on him, saving him! YAY!

"Oh Gaara-sensei! Are you okay?" Matsuri squealed. Gaara nodded slowly. Matsuri glared at Kankuro for awhile before calling Temari. "Temari...there's something horribly wrong with Kankuro...he's obsessed with tea all of a sudden! He nearly choked Gaara to the point where Gaara almost DIED! It's horrible! Come quick!"

So Temari came with Sakura Haruno who happened to be in the area to check up on Kankuro's mental state. Sakura observed her before reaching a conclusion. "You've contracted a horrible illness! You are obsessed with tea and such! Apparently you got it from someone named Inuyasha. Oh well! He'll be back to normal in about a day. May as well humor him, right?" she said cheerfully. Gaara glared at her. "Right...?" she asked again. Gaara glared even harder.

"No, not alright! Would you like to explain how to cure him before tomorrow?" Temari yelled angrily. Sakura turned to her.

***Somewhere far far away***

"GOD DAMNIT! I THOUGHT I KILLED THAT PINK HAIRED BITCH!" Sasori yelled at no one in particular. Then he remembered that Gaara needed his help with something and ran to the Kazekage compound. But he was very slow about it. Because he wanted to be.

***In the Kazekage Compound***

Sakura's 'I just got called a bitch* senses tingled again, and she punched the nearest thing, which just so happened to be everyone's favorite Kazekage. Let's just say he wasn't too happy. "I-I'm so sorry Kazekage-sama!" she stuttered. Temari held her youngest brother back so he didn't just kill the stupid medic.

"How do we cure Kankuro damnit?" the blonde yelled at the pinkette.

"Uh...just find Inuyasha! And...uh...help him kill a guy named Naraku!" she answered thoughtfully. It was then that Sasori decided to walk in. "It's you!" Sakura yelled at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"Gaara-kun...can I kill that bitch?" Sasori asked. Gaara broke free from Temari's hold and nodded.

"Make it painful," he added. Sasori grinned evilly then poisoned the bitch. Then, he blew fire all over so she had third-degree burns, then he just stabbed her multiple times. Everyone stared at her twitching body before remembering the true objective. "Hey Sasori...will you go down that conveniently placed well and find the person named Inuyasha for me?" Gaara requested. The puppet nodded and went down the said well. He ended up landing on...KAGOME!

"OHEMGEE! WHO ARE YOU?" she screeched. He got off of her and dusted himself off before saying anything.

"I am Sasori," he introduced himself.

"I'm Kagome," she told him. He nodded then looked around.

"Huh...this isn't the desert. But whatever. Do you know an Inuyasha?" the puppet asked. She nodded and led him to Inuyasha.

"Who the bloody 'ell is that?" Inuyasha asked Kagome, gesturing at Sasori. She shrugged.

"Sasori," she answered.

"Keh. What do you bloody want?" he asked Sasori.

"Um...I want to help you defeat...uh...Naraku?" Sasori replied. Then the wind(A.K.A Kagura, jeez gurl, yah need tuh stop groping people) blew off his cloak. No, not the Akatsuki one, he just had a green one on. It exposed his puppet body and stuff.

"OHEMGEE, he's like...A PUPPET!" Kagome cheered. Sasori just stared at her while Inuyasha face-palmed.

"There she bloody goes again, stating the bloody obvious. Anyways, sure, why the bloody 'ell not?" he sighed, answering Sasori's...well...question of sorts.

"Er...alright..." the puppet answered, a bit unsure. Inuyasha led them to Miroku, Sango, and Shippo, who were all eating ramen.

"This is bloody Sasori, and he's going to bloody help us defeat bloody Naraku," Inuyasha explained. Miroku nodded, and the others simply continued eating.

"Ah...that's interesting," Sango said after awhile of everyone standing or sitting there awkwardly. "Yes...and he's handsome too..." she added, mumbling a bit. Everyone stared at her, and she blushed furiously.

"Er...anyways...when can we just kill the bastard Naraku? I need to get back home," the red-head sighed. Inuyasha looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Hm...um...how about bloody tomorrow?" he suggested.

"Sure," Sasori nodded, that was perfect. They decided to all go to sleep and rest up for the amazing battle that would surely take place. Because well, Naraku SUCKS. A LOT. But whatever. So they all slept, and then got up early, and amazing found Naraku in a nearby clearing. Don't ask why he was there. It's a very long story including talking lemons, chairs, and Hakudoshi crying. Yeah. You don't wanna know...

"I WILL KILL YOU ALL! BAHAHAHAHA!" Naraku exclaimed. Sasori sighed.

"Look, let's get this over with, okay? I don't have all day," the puppet demanded. Naraku just stared, who the hell was this kid to just expect an easy win? WHO THE HELL WAS HE? "Oh, and I'm Sasori. I assume you're Naraku. You're uglier than Hiruko, seriously..." the red-head pointed out. No one but him understood what he was talking about. Personally, Sasori thought his joke was hilarious. When he retold his story, everyone else would agree with him. But that comes later.

"Er...okay?" Naraku answered. After a very long boring battle including Kagome and Shippo dying...which no one really noticed until the very end, Kagura groping people some more, and Inuyasha FINALLY breaking through that damned barrier. Then they destroyed Naraku until one hit would finish him. Then Itachi Uchicha showed up. And poked Naraku on the forehead. Naraku collapsed and sputtered and spit all over the place before finally dieing.

"Ha. Foolish little hanyou..." Itachi sighed. "That's exactly how I killed Sasuke. On accident of course. And Sasuke got resurrected anyhow. How is my foolish little brother by the way, Sasori?" the raven-haired man asked. Sasori just stood there gaping for awhile.

"He's dead again," the puppet finally replied. Itachi shrugged and then used his MEGA AWESOME UCHICHA MYSTICAL POWERS(Sorta like Sesshomaru's magical boa of doom) and poofed away. No one saw him ever again after that. Which saddened fan girls. A lot. Whatever though. "Alright. Bye people," Sasori waved goodbye to his new friends of sorts and went back through the well. He fell out on top of a conveniently placed cactus. "OW GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHO THE FUCK PUT A CACTUS HERE?" he shouted. Gaara came racing in. (OEHMGEE HE WAS CONCERNED :O)

"What took so long?" the Kazekage sighed as he pulled his friend of the cactus. "Kankuro was cured like...five minutes after you left..."

"SERIOUSLY? THAT MAKES ME WANT TO MAKE A PUPPET OF CHIYO THEN BURN IT!" the puppet yelled, obviously frustrated. Gaara resisted the urge to laugh and led his friend inside to eat.

***Back in Inuyasha Land***

"God damnit Kagura! Stop groping me!" Sesshomaru yelled. Rin and Jaken stared.

Inuyasha was crying about Kagome's death for awhile, until he went to hell with Kikyo. How...fun. Meanwhile, Miroku and Sango got married and lived happily ever after, or whatever. Kohaku lived with them. And was annoyed by them. A lot. But...WHO CARES! It's a HAPPY ENDING :D!

**A/N:...lolz.**


	16. EXTREME Grape Jello and Bets

**a/n: Okay, some of you people must think I hate Kagome. I hope this clears things up. I DO NOT HATE KAGOME. She's just...a jackpot when it come to humor! She's hilarious to write about...and to make stupid at times. That doesn't mean I hate her. Merrph. So please don't get the wrong idea lolz...:P.**

"HEY INUYASHA!" Kagome screeched at the top of her lungs. Inuyasha, being quite alarmed, ran to the rescue.

"KAGOME! ARE YOU OKAY?" he screeched back.

"JUST HURRY!" Kagome yelled angrily. Inuyasha nodded to no one in particular, because he seemed to have forgotten that he was running towards Kagome, and Kagome wasn't running with him. Which kinda failed. When he finally arrived, he saw his friend holding some sort of package that read: JELLO!

"Er...what's that?" he asked.

"We're going to do some EXTREME sports!" Kagome told him. He looked confused, so she elaborated further. "We're going to do some extreme jumping! With jello. So watch closely," she told him, then walked over to the conveniently placed pond that was next to her, and poured the huge jello mix into it. Inuyasha watched in amazement as the pond turned into a strange substance.

"Don't touch that!" he screamed.

"Why...?" Kagome sighed. Inuyasha pointed at the jello in alarm.

"It's purple! Naraku must have somehow poisoned it!" he yelled. Kagome face-palmed.

"No...it's grape-flavored," she told him. He chuckled nervously while she began jumping on the jello. "Come on Inuyasha, jump with me!" she yelled at him in ecstasy. He hesitantly walked on the jello, and hopped a little. She sighed. Then Miroku and Sango walked up with Kohaku.

"Hello, what's everyone up to?" Miroku asked.

"Just jumping. AND COME ON INU-BAKA! JUST JUMP DAMNIT!" Kagome answered then screeched at Inuyasha. The said half demon jumped a little, then started jumping higher and higher.

"Ah...that's interesting," Sango observed. Kohaku just nodded blankly. "You okay Kohaku?" Sango asked worriedly.

"Yeah, aneue. I'm great," Kohaku answered happily and smiled at his sister.

"That's good," Sango said. Miroku nodded in agreement. Then, Itachi Uchicha appeared for like...no reason, and with him was Sasori.

"Hey, hey, hey, Inuyasha!" Itachi yelled. Don't ask how he knew Inuyasha's name. Cuz, I won't answer.

"Bloody yes?" Inuyasha asked, still jumping like an idiot.

"You. Lack. A. Toaster!" Itachi said simply.

"YOU LACK A TOASTER? YOU LACK A TOASTER?" Kagome screamed and started sitting Inuyasha. He got stuck in the jello, and was now being jumped on he was so stuck down there. "Ha ha, you're stuck!" Kagome laughed. Itachi sighed.

"Hey Itachi, you owe me twenty dollars now. I told you that's what would happen," Sasori smirked triumphantly. Itachi reluctantly pulled out his wallet and handed Sasori a twenty-dollar bill.

"Hn," the raven sighed again. Sasori just looked smug.

"So...what should we do now?" Kagome asked casually, totally not caring that Kikyo had showed up to eat Inuyasha out of the jello. Grape jello was totally out now anyhow. Everyone but Itachi shrugged in response.

"Hn. We should go tell my little brother that he lacks hatred," he suggested. Sasori face-palmed, then realized this was an opportunity to rake some more cash out of his fellow Akatsuki.

"Alright. I bet that Sasuke will make a really annoying comeback," he challenged. Itachi smirked.

"Okay. Twenty bucks."

"Agreed," the red-head nodded. So everyone but Kikyo and Inuyasha followed the Akatsuki's to Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you lack hatred!" Itachi declared. Sasuke turned to face his brother. Then he smiled really creepily.

"I know you do but what do I?" he asked, following Kabuto's *ahem, Sasori's* advice at comebacks. Itachi stood there dumbstruck for a moment.

"You lack hatred!" he shouted.

"I know you do, but what do I?" Sasuke asked yet again. Sasori smirked, he knew this was going to happen. He gestured towards Itachi's wallet. Itachi glared then forked up the twenty bucks.

"Goodbye, foolish little brother!" he yelled, then Sasori and him went back to the base.

*In the base*

Hidan ran up to Sasori with urgent news. "OHEMGEE FUCK-TARD, DEIDARA IS FUCKING DEAD!" the Jashinist shouted. Itachi rolled his eyes and walked off. Sasori looked pretty indifferent.

"Oh, that's too bad. Oh well. I guess he wasn't art," the puppet sighed and walked off. Hidan frowned.

"Fuck. Hey 'Kuzu, looks like you fucking won. Here's your fucking dollar," he sighed and handed his partner a dollar. Said miser ran to the room and began kissing the said dollar. Then he decided to get married to it. Hidan was very disgusted when he saw Kakuzu was actually in bed with the dollar.

In his room, Sasori was actually devastated. "OH NO! I HAVE NO ONE TO ARGUE WITH NOW!" he cried melodramatically. Then, Deidara walked in.

"What, un?" he asked. Sasori looked up, stunned.

"Nevermind," he sighed.

*Back in Inuyasha World*

"Thanks bloody Kikyo," Inuyasha sighed. Kikyo nodded. She was totally fat because she had to eat all of the grape jello to get Inuyasha out. Kagome walked back and started snorting. Sango laughed along. Miroku was just disgusted.

"I can't believe how much you let yourself go Kikyo-sama," he sighed dissapointedly. Sango wacked him on the head then started cracking up again.

THE END.

**A/N: Alright. I have an announcement. If you want to read a seriously HILARIOUS story, read Soul Note/Death Eater. It's a collab with me and flowerchild4life. I seriously crack up hysterically everytime I read it. REVIEW Please? Pretty please? I loveyouall!**


	17. Daygers and Waygons

**A/N: AH, this is ridiculous. :).**

Inuyasha sighed. He had gotten lost in some foreign land called Deltora. He stumbled in the bushed for awhile before reaching a blonde boy, a green-haired girl, and a black-haired man listening to a purple-haired boy. He was curious, so he decided to listen to the conversation.

"Dain, what's going on here?" the blonde asked the purple-haired. Said boy, now deemed Dain, laughed.

"Don't you see? I'm an Ol! I pretended to be your dayger, Leif!" he replied. The blonde, a.k.a. Leif, looked confused.

"Er...my what?"

"Your dayger!" Dain repeated. Leif was still confused.

"What's a dayger?" he asked.

"And where's your nose?" the girl snickered.

"A dayger is a dayger of course. And Jasmine, my nose is under my hair," Dain sighed. The girl, now known as Jasmine, chuckled. Leif still was confused. Barda sighed and just walked away. Inuyasha resisted the urge to snort.

"I still don't understand what a dayger is!" Leif cried.

"Oh," Jasmine laughed.

"A DAYGER IS A DAYGER! YOU KNOW, LIKE THERE'S A DAYGER IN YOUR HILT! A D-A-G-G-E-R!" Dain yelled exasperatedly.

"Oh...you mean a dagger!" Leif smiled. Dain rolled his eyes.

"Yes! That's what I said! A dayger!" he said triumphantly.

"Right...when were you a dagger?" Leif asked.

"I was your dayger in the waygon," Dain replied. Jasmine started laughing uncontrollably while Leif was just confused again.

"Where?" the blonde asked. Dain wanted to cry.

"I WAS YOUR DAYGER IN THE WAYGON!" the Ol yelled. Leif just stared.

"What is a waygon?" he asked.

"A WAYGON YOU IDIOT! W-A-G-O-N!" Dain cried.

"Oh! A wagon!" Leif smiled happily.

"That's what I said! A waygon!" Dain sighed.

"What are we talking about again?" Leif asked.

"You know what? Never mind. I was just joking when I said I'm an Ol. I'm not really. I'm just your friend, and we're just the most canon gay pairing since Kurogane and Fai," Dain told the clueless blonde. As if on que, Fai and Kurogane walked up.

"You said there's another gay canon pairing?" Fai sang.

"Yeah!" Leif cheered. Dain and Kurogane simultaneously face palmed. From behind the trees, Inuyasha silently laughed. Man, had he hit the jack pot when he decided to listen in on this conversation. I mean, who called daggers daygers? Apparently Dain did...

"OH cool! Who are you paired with?" Fai asked happily.

"Dain, the purple-haired guy!" Leif laughed.

"Oh. I'm paired with Kuro-puppy here," Fai chuckled. Kurogane sighed along with Dain. They both stared at each other for a moment before Kurogane dragged Fai away. Dain stood there awkwardly before walking away. Leif, like a lost puppy, followed him.

"Okay. Fine Leif, you can come with me," the Ol sighed. Leif cheered and ran after Dain. Jasmine sighed. Inuyasha finally came out of hiding.

"What...the bloody hell was that?" he asked. Jasmine turned to face him, and very out-of-character like, she began to talk to him.

"Um...I don't know," she replied. He nodded absent-mindedly.

"I really don't bloody understand why that bloody dude calls bloody daggers 'daygers'," Inuyasha thought out loud.

"Yeah, I don't know. He's just weird," Jasmine laughed.

"Oh," Inuyasha said.

"Yeah..." Jasmine sighed. Then they began laughing hysterically for no reason, then Inuyasha left. When he got home, Kagome began throwing a fit.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" she screeched.

"I was bloody out spying on bloody queers," Inuyasha replied. Kagome was positively fuming.

"YOU WERE WHAT? OSUWARI! OSUWARI!" she yelled. In other words, Inuyasha was once again sat into the next century. Poor, poor Kagome, having to wear her voice out so much! How rude that Inuyasha is to make her waste all that effort!

**The End.**

**A/N: This is short, I know. I'm running short on time, so you know. I recently remembered the Deltora Quest series of books I read, and discovered it's an anime now! I'm so happy! Dain is my favorite character, so you know, I had to add him. I also added a smidgeon of Tsubasa Chronicles, which is where Fai and Kurogane are from. Whatever though. I know you probably don't really care about this.**

**I made a Halloween Special called Halloween Party From Hell, in case you want a laugh involving Halloween. I think it's pretty funny, but whatever. Have you ever noticed I say whatever too much? Oh well.**

**Thanks for reading. Please review, I'd really appreciate it! It's what keeps me writing these!**


	18. Watermelon Wave of Doom and Bumblebees

**A/N: ...Wow, haven't updated in awhile. Bleach, Inuyasha, and Soul Eater, anyone?**

*In the Human World*

The tenth divisions captain Toshiro Hitsugaya was standing awkwardly next to Kagome Higurashi. Inuyasha waltzed up.

"Hey bloody Kagome, who's the bloody shorty?" he asked. Hitsuyaga glared at him, and icicles started forming on the roof of the...subway station(?) they were at.

"I...am...not...short," the shinigami said, seething with rage. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"Yes you bloody are. It's actually kind of bloody obvious..." the hanyou pointed out. The temperature dropped another twenty degrees.

"Maybe you should be quiet Inuyasha..." Kagome said timidly. Hitsuyaga glared even fiercer at the half-demon.

"She is correct..." he said. Inuyasha laughed.

"You don't bloody scare me. Bloody Sesshomaru bloody scares me, but you...you don't bloody scare me," the half-demon said. The temperature dropped another thirty degrees, then Sesshomaru appeared.

"Did somebody say the Mighty Sesshomaru's name?" he demanded. Hitsugaya looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Who is this guy?" he asked. Kagome laughed.

"Why, that's Sesshomaru little boy with white hair!" she smiled. And the room became even colder. Sesshomaru glared at Hitsugaya.

"Hn. A child," he sighed. There were now icicles hanging off of Inuyasha's beard(lolwut?).

"I. Am. An. ADULT!" the soul reaper shouted angrily. Sadly, his height told otherwise, and no one believed him.

"You have everything you need...if you just...believe!" Black Star shouted, suddenly appearing. Then the wind started picking up again.

"DAMNIT KAGURA! THE MIGHTY SESSHOMARU TOLD YOU TO STOP GROPING THE MIGHTY SESSHOMARU!" Sesshomaru yelled at the sky.

"...uhm...I think I may just leave..." Hitsugaya muttered and began walking away, but all of a sudden Maka and Soul appeared, blocking the exit. "Uh...what?" the shinigami asked aloud.

"We are teh exit gaurds! You..shall not...pass!" Maka yelled. Soul sighed.

"This is so not cool..."

"Ha ha ha Soul, do you believe in destiny?" Black Star asked, now swinging from one of the lights on the ceiling.

"...No.." Soul sighed. Black Star fell to the ground and got a concussion. Hitsugaya stared and tried to slip past Maka and Soul because they were distracted. It didn't work because Asura and Arachne suddenly appeared and startled the *lol* little guy.

"Uh...were are we?" the kishin asked awkwardly. Maka and Soul stared.

"You're at...a subway station?" Kagome answered uncertainly. Asura shrugged and turned to Arachne.

"...Uh..whattadya want from me?" she asked.

"...CAN I PLEASE JUST LEAVE?" Hitsugaya cried out. Maka smirked.

"No," she laughed. Soul nudged her.

"Come on, just let the dude leave.." he sighed.

"...Hm...this is an interesting debate, but the Mighty Sesshomaru has no time for it, and is too dashing to take part in it..." Sesshomaru declared, then pushed past Maka and Soul to leave. Hitsugaya glared at his retreating figure.

"Oh, so you let that guy leave, but not me?" he yelled angrily.

"Well, this is awkward..." Asura said. Arachne covered his mouth and smiled nervously at the rest of the group. She was desperately trying to hide the fact that they had magically come back to life..

"This is so not cool! Can we please just leave Maka!" Soul begged his partner very uncharacteristically. Maka proceeded to Maka chop him on the head.

"Shaddup!" she shouted, then Byakuya appeared.

"I am the biggest jerk in Bleach and loving it," he declared. Hitsugaya, being the only one who really knew the guy at this point, started snickering very uncharacteristically.

"That's bloody fantastic. You'd be bloody best friends with bloody Naraku," Inuyasha sighed.

"Did somebody say...Naraku? kukuku..." Naraku yelled. Kagome facepalmed. Asura started screaming because there was a bumblebee.

"Calm down everyone!" Arachne shouted. Of course, no one really calmed down...

"Well, since I think I'll be here for awhile, I may as well eat some watermelon..." Hitsugaya reasoned, and he pulled out a hole watermelon, magically chopping it. He then began devouring it like a wild animal, sending a wave of seeds which swept Maka, Black Star, and Soul back to Death City. "Uh...I planned to do that!" the shinigami lied, sweat dropping.

"Right...so...what?" Kagome asked, very confused.

"Well, this is awkward..." Asura stated once again.

"Alright Asura dear, I think it's time we leave..." Arachne chuckled, and the pair disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"I bloody guess I'll bloody leave bloody too..." Inuyasha sighed, then he rudely carried an angry Kagome with him back to the fuedal era. Now the only people left were Hitsugaya, Byakuya, and Naraku.

"...Leave..." the shinigami sighed. Naraku pouted then left like a baby, along with Byakuya, who just didn't care."Great...now I can go back to the Soul Society...and...be questioned about this encounter? Uh...I'll just go buy some watermelon italian ice..." Hitsugaya chuckled nervously and left to go get some shaved ice.

**A/N:...Okay, I dunno. Lol. Okay, see you guys! *Yay, I get to find out if I need surgery on wednsday! Wish me luck!***


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